I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize