you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
