He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I looked at my own cervix.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
