There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
