angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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