We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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