Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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