dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize