pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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