Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
