his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
