Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This baby is an asshole
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
