Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i think im in europe. pls send help
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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