Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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