I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
