you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize