Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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