my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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