I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
