i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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