Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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