Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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