woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
3 2 1 whiskey
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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