My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
