Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
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