I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
