pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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