About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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