I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize