I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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