Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
