you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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