Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
