My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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