pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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