You smell like stripper and shame
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize