I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
