But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
