Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize