i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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