every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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