yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
