Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
