why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
