The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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