Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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