I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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