i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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