Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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