I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
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Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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