PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
