What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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