): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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