Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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