yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize