You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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