He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
