Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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