do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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