I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
